I thought I was showing everyone the friendliest side of me, I never did gave them headaches and was always there for them to hear their calls. i thought I was filling their empty hearts with love and care..with joy and happiness...no sorrow and pain...
i was always acting weird to make them laugh. Just to see them smile brightens up my day... I thought everything was going fine until I confessed to a friend what I kept inside this heart of mine for a very long time.
i told her the thing I only told once to a very trusted friend...I didn't expect it would end my good relationship towards them. I confessed to that very person that i dislike someone's attitude and how that individual communicate with some of her elders. I utter words I shouldn't have...
This was continued, when this friend whom I shared the secret, told me what she thinks of that person- she agreed with me. So then, we shared what we both felt to our other "group of friends." At first, I opposed the idea..but i thought that, at least, I can let go of these feelings.
I asked my mom if what I did was wrong. Gladly she said NO.. there's nothing wrong with it as long as you didn't utter it to the wrong individuals. I didn't told them not to tell anyone about the conversation 'cause I know someone can't stop her big mouth from babbling it OUT.
The next day, I told my friend to just understand her 'cause I know she's on the same dilemma as what I had encountered in the past-mine was the worst. That she needs love and care from her friends. All we have to do is to forget and forgive..
But nothing goes as easy as FORGET nor FORGIVE...
She confronted me, the girl I am talking about..she's frank though..Asking me if "I" hate her.. I told her the truth but deep inside me, my whole being was drenched in tears. i felt death clinging into my arms..I can't fight..I don't want to..All I said was "Sorry because I had hurt you and Thank You because you corrected me."
No one understands me and Nobody will...i am fond of keeping pains in my heart from time to time 'cause I'm afraid to hurt someone...
But, my worst expectation came in the scene...
I have this attitude that once I did something to hurt someone dear to me, i would hurt myself. Luckily, I was afraid to commit suicide. I only pinched myself and slapped my face really hard, my eyes were like a flowing river. I didn't stop in whimpering and yelling "Lord Help me!" and "Am I the worst friend ever?" (it was funny, though)
I admit I was wrong..I even made my mother cry knowing that I did "that" to myself and I promised her I'll never do that again..Still, the bruises remained...It was painful..
REALLY PAINFUL...
i was always acting weird to make them laugh. Just to see them smile brightens up my day... I thought everything was going fine until I confessed to a friend what I kept inside this heart of mine for a very long time.
i told her the thing I only told once to a very trusted friend...I didn't expect it would end my good relationship towards them. I confessed to that very person that i dislike someone's attitude and how that individual communicate with some of her elders. I utter words I shouldn't have...
This was continued, when this friend whom I shared the secret, told me what she thinks of that person- she agreed with me. So then, we shared what we both felt to our other "group of friends." At first, I opposed the idea..but i thought that, at least, I can let go of these feelings.
I asked my mom if what I did was wrong. Gladly she said NO.. there's nothing wrong with it as long as you didn't utter it to the wrong individuals. I didn't told them not to tell anyone about the conversation 'cause I know someone can't stop her big mouth from babbling it OUT.
The next day, I told my friend to just understand her 'cause I know she's on the same dilemma as what I had encountered in the past-mine was the worst. That she needs love and care from her friends. All we have to do is to forget and forgive..
But nothing goes as easy as FORGET nor FORGIVE...
She confronted me, the girl I am talking about..she's frank though..Asking me if "I" hate her.. I told her the truth but deep inside me, my whole being was drenched in tears. i felt death clinging into my arms..I can't fight..I don't want to..All I said was "Sorry because I had hurt you and Thank You because you corrected me."
No one understands me and Nobody will...i am fond of keeping pains in my heart from time to time 'cause I'm afraid to hurt someone...
But, my worst expectation came in the scene...
I have this attitude that once I did something to hurt someone dear to me, i would hurt myself. Luckily, I was afraid to commit suicide. I only pinched myself and slapped my face really hard, my eyes were like a flowing river. I didn't stop in whimpering and yelling "Lord Help me!" and "Am I the worst friend ever?" (it was funny, though)
I admit I was wrong..I even made my mother cry knowing that I did "that" to myself and I promised her I'll never do that again..Still, the bruises remained...It was painful..
REALLY PAINFUL...
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