The Neglected Legitimate Child

Life is iniquitous and unjust but one thing is certain, God is not.

Awful-that would surely be the literal characterization of my untimely eight years of existence. Horrid is for the next seven years of my living in this ample place called earth I was vaguely sanctified with an unsatisfactory household and a reckless father. The disjointing of my family was the worst condition I had ever stumbled upon. It pains me to witness how both my father and mother toss their rings, the symbol of their affinity and unison, in the wastebasket or in the pawnshop. Yet, nothing is more complex and excruciating when you perceive your father holding another pregnant woman’s hand- hugging and kissing her like she was his wife. I must be vexed but no matter how hard I try to be aggravated by the scene, there’s nothing I can do to alter it- it’s there, I just need to accept those nightmarish facts. I’ve had various quantities of stepsisters on diverse stepmothers and it still is a burden in my life in an odd way. I loved them- my stepmothers and even those little cute babies who knew nothing about adultery however, my dad’s actions gave me a reason on why I must brawl for what is mine. I am fond of my dad- I do things to please him like presenting hearty gifts on his birthday and other occasions but I just don’t think that he feels the same way towards me too. He can’t even remember my age. He knows nothing about me. Yes, I’m a perfect stranger in his imperfect world. Honestly, I am scared. The fear of losing my dad brings hideous shivers unto my bones. He’s slowly turning his back away from me- what I need is a 360 degrees turnaround not the half of it. Dad was never responsible when it comes to me and my mom. He was like a pleasing seraph to his neighbors but never to his lawful kindred and it wants me to hurt him so badly. However, I was never meant to be a black sheep. He left mom alone to support me in my studies and to spend cash for my daily provisions and it’s just difficult because all I can do was to watch her work night and day until she grew unwell. And him? He bought his illegitimate family the things they need- he gave them prolific supremacy on his life. While me and my mom kept on scratching the thick soil for gold but nothing we did find. It’s his fault. If only he did not leave mom. If only he was a responsible father. If only he felt sympathy towards my state. If only he loved me. But those were just if only’s. Majority of it is nothing but hallucinations. Nevertheless, I’ll set my feet on the ground and aim high. Remember dad, what you give is what you take.